I'm a pretty big deal around here. I protect this place and my human, which calls itself Sam, against intruders such as the birds that keep trying to get in through the solid air dividing the inside from the outside.
As much as it pains me, though, sometimes I gotta take a break and sleep. This is the story of [[my quest for a rest->The search begins]].
The living room seems like a good place to start.
I could lie on [the rug under the colorfully decorated tree]<rug|. (click: ?rug)[… But I'd rather not get its needles in my fur.]
Then there's [the ledge looking out on the yard]<ledge|. (click: ?ledge)[… But I don't have the energy to jump up there right now.(set: $window to true)]
There's always [my favorite chair in the corner]<chair|. (click: ?chair)[… Nah, I'm just not feeling it today.]
I could also try somewhere in [[the kitchen->Where the food is]].
It'd be nice to get a snack actually. Although as I walk in, I don't see Sam anywhere, so it doesn't look like I'm gonna be getting one this time. Sam keeps track of the food so I don't have to, although this does sometimes have its disadvantages.
Oh well, let's see what looks like a nice nap spot.
How about [[the stool->This was a good idea]]?
Alternatively, [the rug by the back door]<rug| looks cozy. (click: ?rug)[Actually, I just remembered I got fleas last time I slept there. Let's not.]
Or, bear with me here, [[the counter->Okay let's do this]]? I know Sam doesn't like it when I get up there, but I'm the one in charge here.
Failing that, I can head out to [[the backyard->What was that?]].
I hop up on the stool, curl up, and get to napping. I dream about eating tuna and how there are "better" endings to this story.
**FIN?**
I consider my options. The best spot on the counter lies on the far end next to the stove, but Sam has put a bunch of junk in the way, like a chair with boxes on it and the trash can, knowing that I might try to jump up there.
I can go around the long way, although that involves trying to get past the sink, and if I fall in there it will be very unpleasant.
That in mind, should I try to [[jump straight up->A daring leap]] or [[take the long route->The longest journey]]?
I head out through the catflap into the garden. I bet there are all kinds of places I could—
I see something move. A bird? My senses sharpen, my body on high alert. I think… I think I saw it [[over to the left->Aha!]]? But wait, this has nothing to do with napping. I should just [[ignore it->Back to the task at hand]].
I stand by the trash can and wiggle my butt a little. I'm kinda nervous, but it's all for a good cause: the right to choose where I take my own naps.(if: $window is true)[ I contemplate the living room window again and wonder why I'm attempting this if I didn't want to try the window, but I realize sometimes you just have to *feel* out the best napping spot, logic aside.]
With one last wiggle, I [[make the leap->Woops]]…
I climb the stool to get onto the far end of the counter from my destination. I slink around various chip bags and make my way to the sink.
This is the dangerous part. I can either try to [[jump over the sink->Not this time, water]], or I can try to [[edge along it->Catlike reflexes]].
#Cat Simulator 2016
*written by helado de brownie for Mel*
… and fall short, plopping straight into the trash can.
I failed, although… This is not actually as terrible as I thought it might be. The trash in here makes a soft pile… I'm tired enough I could just [[sleep here->As good a place as any]]. Although maybe there's a more ideal place [[outside->What was that?]]?
I gracefully and invincibly glide over the sink, completely avoiding any sort of watery fate.
Wait, the counter on the other side is slightly wet! Ick! But only a little. I'll live.
I proceed to the far end of the counter and my goal and I curl up there. My travails have been worth it, and sleep has been obtained.
**FIN**
I scooch along behind the sink. Carefully, ever so carefully… I accidentally bump the knob so that it's running a little, but no big.
I make it almost all the way to the other side… but then I slip and fall into the sink! Noticing that I'm standing in water and more is coming in from overhead, I *freak out* and scuttle at the sides of the sink, but they're too slippery! Nooooo!
Fortunately, Sam hears the commotion and comes in from the other room to rescue me. I get vigorously toweled down, but at least I'm no longer sopping wet. Unfortunately, I'm now too shaken to sleep anytime soon.
**This sucks. :(**
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##(print: (passage:)'s name)
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I mean it kinda smells, but compared to the human it's really not so bad. Yeah, this seems like the place. I curl up and get to napping.
Not minutes into my nap, something sopping wet lands on me. I *freak out*, manage to tip over the trash can and spill out much of its contents, and dart straight through the legs of Sam, who watches bewildered.
I hide under the tree in the living room, panting. Sam comes towards me and reaches out, to which I hiss. I *know* what comes next. I *know* what Sam wants to do. Amazingly, Sam overcomes my awesome reflexes and catches me by the midriff.
Sam proceeds to carry me upstairs to the bathroom. I struggle and try to claw my way out of this predicament, but there's no use. As Sam turns to close the bathroom door, I know it's all over.
**It's bath time. :(**
*(if: "win" is in (passage:)'s tags)[Since this is a good ending, you can check out the [[spoilers->Spoilers!]]!] (if: "ending" is in (passage:)'s tags)[To try an alternative path, hit the undo arrow on the left.]*
Click links to reveal more information.
- There are 20 [story passages]<passages|(click: ?passages)[, 8 of which are [endings]<endings|(click: ?endings)[, 4 of which are "good" endings]].
- One passage has [extra text]<extra| if you tried something else already(click: ?extra)[; try [jumping straight up]<jump| onto the kitchen counter(click: ?jump)[ after trying the ledge in the living room]].
- The author was unable to think of anything else [spoilery]<spoilery| about the story. (click: ?spoilery)[It's pretty [short]<short| really.] (click: ?short)[Seriously I got [nothing]<nothing|.] (click: ?nothing)[If you're looking for an [achievement]<achievement|, there aren't any.]
(click: ?achievement)[**Achievement Unlocked:** Annoyingly Persistent]
A blackbird! Right there on the ground! It could be my meal! I should just [[pounce it->Mine!]]! (*Warning: graphic imagery*)
Although, maybe it would be more effective to [[be stealthy->I am great hunter]].
On the other hand, I'm really in the mood for that nap about now. I should just [[forget it->Back to the task at hand]].
Right, napping. Let's see…
(link-reveal: "The patio")[(replace: ?patio)[ Although it looks kind of muddy. Ick.(set: $patio to true)]] looks nice and firm.|patio>[]
There's a nice shady spot (link-reveal: "under a tree")[(replace: ?tree)[ But there are a bunch of sticks I don't feel like moving out of the way.(set: $tree to true)]].|tree>[]
I've never tried (link-reveal: "Sam's chair")[(replace: ?chair)[ With good reason – It smells like the human.(set: $chair to true)]] before.|chair>[]
(live:)[(if: $patio is true and $tree is true and $chair is true)[… You know what, I kinda wanna [[catch that bird->I am great hunter]] after all.(stop:)]]
I go straight for the kill, ripping the sorry creature to shreds with my teeth and claws, easily parting its soft body with my finely honed weapons…
I blink, confused. There's no bird here, only shreds of grass and dirt. Was I… too slow? The failure sinks in. I'm a terrible hunter. I've never caught a bird in my life.
… But wait. Now that I've softened up the ground here, it's a pretty good place for a nap. I curl up in the indent I made and… it's perfect. I nod right off, dreaming of birds I may never actually catch, but that I can catch in my dreams.
**FIN**
The bird remains in place as I slink towards it. It hasn't noticed me yet, and if I play this right, it never will.
Silently, silently I approach it, the sly hunter who is sure of a meal.
Ready to pounce, I wiggle my butt, and…
It flies off! How did it see me? No matter, I must [[pursue it->Oh it is on]]!
Oh, actually, this patch of grass it was on looks nice. Maybe I'll [[sleep here->Serendipity]]?
I leap to the nearest branch I can find, mere feet from the bird which changes direction, but it doesn't matter. I *will* have my prey.
I scurry along the top of the fence after it, eventually arriving in a neighbor's yard, where it retreats to the top of a tall tree. Once again I jump for a branch, and I do it again and again, until I reach the top.
Here I find the bird in its nest. We stare each other down. I know this bird means business, because it's protecting its eggs now.
The ultimate question… Do I [[finish this->Finish this]] or do I [[back off->Friendship]]?
I curl up and realize that woah, yeah, this is actually a pretty prime spot. Forget the bird, I'm in a little patch of heaven.
**FIN**
One more rump wiggle, and I pounce—
A flash of feathers, an avian battle cry—
A claw blurs into view—
The next thing I know, I'm on my back on the ground. I fell… onto my back? I… I'm the sorriest cat there is.
I slink off in shame. I didn't get the meal, I didn't even get the nap. Perhaps sometimes, things just aren't meant to be.
**So much for that. :(**
I meow inquisitively at the bird.
It cocks its head.
Experimentally, I roll over and expose my belly.
The bird flies off. I watch it land. It roots in the ground, then takes off again and offers me… a worm?
A peace offering.
Though I'm not much for worms, I eat it anyway. Food is food.
The bird makes a cat-sized place in its nest. Can it be?
I… I'm overcome with gratitude. This is a bird I'm glad I wasn't able to catch. I enter the nest and curl up and… it's the comfiest nap spot I've ever chosen. As I nod off, I vow to become a friend of birds just as this bird has shown kindness to me.
**FIN**